"What the bloody hell am I doing here?" - Rolf to himself in 1961 during a period of doubt about his decision to leave Germany.
Chapter VII - The United States Years
Rolf's first residence in the US - 35 Lincoln Park, Newark, NJ
At the turn of the century when Newark was the brewing capital of the east, the beer barons built their mansions around the park. The decline began with prohibition and by the 1960's the last one had closed. The mansions were turned into rooming houses. By the time Rolf arrived the area was a slum.
To the right a medical center had been built before the war, now standing empty; and at the left was an apartment building inhabited by drug dealers, addicts and prostitutes.
Rolf's childhood dream of going to the United States had turned into a nightmare of tremendous proportion. He had effectively traded a carefree life, living in a big mansion in one of Berlin's most desirable suburbs for a small room in a rundown house in a drug infested neighborhood in Newark, NJ with little hope of pulling himself out if the mess in the foreseeable future. He had alienated his family and deeply hurt a woman he loved.
To the right a medical center had been built before the war, now standing empty; and at the left was an apartment building inhabited by drug dealers, addicts and prostitutes.
Rolf's childhood dream of going to the United States had turned into a nightmare of tremendous proportion. He had effectively traded a carefree life, living in a big mansion in one of Berlin's most desirable suburbs for a small room in a rundown house in a drug infested neighborhood in Newark, NJ with little hope of pulling himself out if the mess in the foreseeable future. He had alienated his family and deeply hurt a woman he loved.
Chapter VII - The United States Early Years
Rolf left Bremerhaven on September 12, 1960 aboard the 'USS America' and arrived in New York on September 20, 1960. It was exactly 8:44 AM that he stepped off the gangway and set foot on American soil. Once the flagship of the United States Lines, it was sold several times over the years and ultimately was towed toward the US to be scrapped. In 1998 it floundered during a storm off Tenerife and ran ashore. Over a period of ten years it would be pounded by the waves, break up and today only an eight foot section remains sticking out of the surf.
After his arrival, Rolf found a job sufficient for survival. His dreams of early success lay shattered along with any hope of a return to Germany to take Karin back into his arms. He lived in a slum area in a city that looked worse than anything he had seen even in the lowest class neighborhoods in post war Germany. He was alone, had no friends and was beginning to wonder why he was here.
The building was roach infested and at night he could hear rats gnawing through the wood inside the walls.
Accomplishment of his goals seemed light years away. He missed Karin and the life he could have had in Bad Wiessee with her. He did not drink, had no relationships of any kind and was afraid to talk to anyone about the conditions he lived under.
It was not untl the mid-sixty's that he started to make any progress and slowly started to be able to focus on his future as he had originally envisioned it when he came to the US.
The Newark Riots - 1967
In the summer of 1967 most American cities exploded into racial rioting, bringing Rolf's world, which had just barely showed some signs of improvement, to a crashing halt. His place of work on Broad Street by Washington Park was in the center of some of the worst violence ever seen in the United States. Armored vehicles and tanks patrolled the streets along with riot police and the National Guard. The city was locked down and large sections were on fire. Gunfire could be heard around the clock and there were snipers on the rooftops of some of the projects. A curfew was in effect.
To Rolf, memories of the war and the battle of Berlin came back with a vengeance. The nightmares again were as intense as ever. He was unable to comprehend that this could be happening in a country which to the world stood out as a model of democracy.
Jittery, inadequately trained National Guard troops patrolled the streets and blocked the city's entrance roads.
Rolf had been in the process of moving from his apartment in East Orange to the Colonnade Apartments in Newark, a relatively new modern complex by Branch Brook Park that was to symbolize the urban renewal. Those apartments had wall to wall ceiling high windows overlooking Newark and the New York Skyline. Snipers were taking pot shots from the adjoining projects. The elevators and lobbies were closed off and no one could get in or out. In East Orange a tank was parked in front of the building blocking traffic from South Orange Avenue.
Unrest had been brewing in the teeming slums of the cities for some time now, but was largely ignored by the authorities.
He again started to question the logic of his being here, something that had haunted him for the past seven years.
It was during that week that Rolf made the decision to visit Berlin for the first time since his migration. He would do so the following December. Unconsciously he was ready to throw in the towel and leave the States permanently.
Downtown Newark
Broad Street by Market Street
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Armored Vehicle on South Orange Avenue
South Orange Avenue
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Market Street
Widespread looting was mostly ignored. Liquor stores were favorite targets
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Broad Street
The fire departments were unable to keep up with the outbreaks and had to be concerned with sniper fire
and gang violence. |
"You will never know how much I wanted you that night" Rolf to Stefani when they met ten years later working for the same company "We keep meeting at the wrong time"
Stefani in the Office - 1969
Always playful, she is goofing off with the clerical staff. The picture was taken on the day of their departure for a three day business trip to Cherry Hill. The office staff was well aware of their close relationship, but things were not by far as serious as they wanted to believe.
Stefani – 1969
A full blooded Italian she grew up in Newark, New Jersey with a strict Italian Family. When she graduated from a Catholic College with a degree in accounting, she obtained a job with an Insurance Company in Newark. Her parents arranged for her to socialize with the son of friends. It was understood that they would get married. Stefani thought it was the only way to get out of the house, and she really did not much have of a choice.
She managed to get a prescription for birth control pills, did not tell her husband about it, and after a while the families started to wonder where the expected children were. She refused to go see a doctor and soon her husband gave up.
“What am I going to do to get out of this vicious cycle“, she thought. There were no easy answers. She confided in her girlfriend, but had no one to talk to aside from that. She was twenty six years old, made good money, dressed provocatively and could well afford to live on her own. She had drifted away from the church, so a civil divorce was possible, although it would be difficult to face her parents.
She had developed a habit of going to work very early to get out of her house. Routinely she picked up a breakfast sandwich and coffee at the Deli on the corner. Walking to her office she passed another office where someone was moving in. This must be the new general manager everybody was talking about, so she decided to say hello. “Hi, I am Stefani; I have an office down the hall, welcome to the department”.
“Thank you, I am Rolf, I guess we are going to see a lot of each other”, he smiled at her. “I understand that you are in charge of a general briefing for me this afternoon, I am looking forward to that”.
“That is correct; I will see you at two PM in the conference Room. If you need anything please give me a call”. With that she left and headed for her office, thinking that he seemed to be very nice. She also had noticed that he was married.
She wondered what it will be like working for him. There had been some hope that the new manager would be single, she was desperately looking for someone to talk to.
She had not had a sex life in three years, her husband had a girlfriend and was rarely home.
The company Christmas party was coming up. Spouses were not invited. What the hell, she thought, and sat down next to Rolf. “I think it is time to get to know each other better” she said, “Would you like to dance?” They did for a while, returned for dinner and danced some more. She felt a strong attraction to Rolf. As it got later, the party turned into an unpleasant affair, with a lot of drunken and obnoxious people. Stefanie motioned him off the dance floor and asked him if he wanted to go the main hotel bar, sit in a quiet corner and talk.
He seemed to be uncertain as to what to do and how to handle the obvious advances from this beautiful and sensual woman. He smiled as he thought of the comment he made a long time ago in the class room about wanting to seduce every beautiful woman he met. Except the roles here seemed to be somewhat reversed. She looked at him quizzically and he told her the story about his goals and his comment which tore up the class. She laughed, thinking that this was rather funny. “Go ahead and see what happens”, she teased him.
She told him her life story and asked him about his. Rolf told her about his childhood, his dreams, his lost love and those goals, which remained unaccomplished. He did not talk about his marriage and she did not probe. Nor did he mention his war experiences and nightmares.
He was very much aware of the woman sitting across from him, her legs touching his. He felt himself starting to respond to the sensuality of the moment. His mind drifted; he was slowly losing the battle. He knew that his life would be forever changed if he succumbed.
She was intrigued by this very different man, but could sense that he was not a very happy person for whatever reason.
Looking into his eyes, smiling, she took his hand and asked if he would like to check into the hotel with her.
Rolf had anticipated the question, he took a deep breath and told her “Part of me wants to very badly, you are a beautiful and very desirable woman, but I cannot do that. Not right now. I am very sorry; I am so very confused as to what to do with my life”.
“I understand, let’s remain friends” Stefani said. He drove her home; they kissed good night, which made him almost regret his answer. They would remain good friends, went frequently to lunch and talked a lot about their lives.
It was about three months after the Christmas party that she was told by Rolf that they would be going to a conference in Cherry Hill together for four days. They were to give a presentation on the second day. He seemed to feel uneasy but told her jokingly that they were simply destined to be together. So be it, she thought, whatever happens can never be changed.
They drove down together, checked in to the hotel and went out to dinner. Rolf suggested that they go to a nightclub and have some fun. They did, they danced and for a little while left their respective problems behind them. Stefani held him close and told him “I do not want to be alone tonight; I do not care if we just talk, but please stay with me”.
He did, and they just talked. It was easier than they had anticipated.
They would remain very close until that fateful day when Rolf got the phone call from the headhunter.
She was happy for him; she knew that he now was on his way to accomplish his dreams. On his last day at work they went out to dinner and celebrated. He seemed like a changed man and she very much regretted not having been able to get closer to him.
In a very strange twist of fate, they would meet again, almost 10 years later when Rolf joined Continental. When he took over as Vice President, she was one of the Systems analysts in the International division. They looked at each other in disbelief and fell into each other’s arms, much to the consternation of the Senior Vice President, who had introduced them.
They met for dinner that night and caught up with their respective lives. She had gotten divorced some years ago and had not remarried. He had accomplished all his goals and had been drifting along. He was still married he told her, mainly because he was afraid to make a decision.
Stefani brought him back to the goals and how he accomplished them. He told her everything, including the women that had crossed his path. He also told her “Sometimes I thought about that night of the Christmas Party and what might have been. I have never regretted anything I have done in my life”, he took her hand in his and continued “We keep meeting at the wrong time, you will never know much I wanted you that night”.
They resumed their friendship, but the lines that had been drawn years ago remained in place.
Rome, Italy & Berlin, Germany - Late 1973
It was an emergency assignment for Rolf just prior to his leaving the US for his posting to Singapore. It lasted eight weeks and he was accompanied by the regional manager, who was English.
David was a very unique person, who was highly regarded by everyone. He drove a Ferrari, chain smoked and coughed all night because of that. He slept very little, enjoyed the good life and was fun to be with. When he woke up coughing he just lit another cigarette. Rolf once spent a night with him in a compartment on a long distance train and would never do so again. He also owned a boat moored in a little village about 100 kilometers out of Rome.
They stayed in a luxury hotel on the Via Veneto and soon Rolf got used to the strange timing business was conducted in. The office was open from 6 AM to 2 PM with no break. One would have a snack and go to sleep for several hours, have another snack and sit in one of the open air cafes watching the crowds go by. Dinner would be late at night followed by a nightclub or a nap, before going back to the office, generally stopping at one of the street side espresso bars for a Panini and a couple of cups. The routine question from the server always was Sambuca or Grand Marnier? It was a good start to a long day.
On the weekends they would generally leave Rome to visit places of interest. Rolf’s favorite destination was Sardinia, leaving on the ferry from Civitavecchia arriving early the next morning and staying in Aga Khan’s old castle on the Costa Smeralda, which had been converted into a luxury hotel.
It was after his return from one of those trips that Rolf’s relative peace of mind was badly shaken by a phone call from Barbara that lasted a couple of hours and was an endless complaint over details of their move to Singapore. After a very heated argument Rolf’s frustration reached the boiling point and he hung up. He told the secretary that he would leave the office and be out of touch for several days. He took David with him and they went off to Milan in his car. Driving at a steady 120 MPH did not exactly calm Rolf down, but he needed to get away to sort things out. When they got to Milan they checked into the hotel and paid a short visit to the office, where they were informed that there were about 10 messages from Barbara in Rome. He ignored that, went out with David and told him the story. Rolf had not been this agitated in a long time. David said something to the degree that he had a boat, a Ferrari and a flat in Rome, along with his house in London. He did not need a wife.
Rolf called his mother and told her that he would be coming to Berlin for a week after this assignment in Rome was finished; on his way for a three week stint in Cologne. He also called Franz, hoping that they could meet in Lugano, but he was working on his TV show and Rolf would have to come to Frankfurt. Franz told him that Karin was currently staying in Bad Wiessee with him. That was all Rolf needed to hear right now. He told him he was going to call back and let him know if he was going to come to Frankfurt.
He also informed Franz that he was close to considering a divorce when he got back to the US and told him the whole story.
“Look”, Franz said “We all have to sleep in the bed we make for ourselves. I am not going to lecture you, but you must make a decision, before it is made for you. Please keep me informed. I am very concerned about you. So is Rosie”.
Rolf drowned himself in work and was as wild as he had ever been. He dragged David all over the place on weekends and they would rarely sleep at night now, hitting every disco, nightclub and operatic local restaurant they could find. Rolf never stopped. David told him “You are a bloody maniac when you get mad”.
He never returned any of Barbara’s messages and had told the secretary that he was not available when in the office. He would not talk to her until he returned to New
Jersey.
When they left Rome, David drove him to Munich from where Rolf took the night train to Berlin. David took a week vacation in Munich.
When Rolf arrived in Berlin, Fritz was on a trip somewhere. He told his mother the whole story. She could tell that he was very upset. “Look Schnucki” he said (he always had and still called her that) “I do not know what to do. I have a son, otherwise it would be over right now. I am also facing a critical point in my life as far as my career is concerned and I will not allow anything to interfere with that”.
Rosie asked him a direct and poignant question “Why did you get married? If it was for sex you were dead wrong. If it was for companionship you were still wrong. I never thought that you would get yourself trapped like this. You have been in Berlin with Barbara several times now and I always have had the feeling that you were not happy“.
“I always expected you to come back for Karin. I can tell you have never forgotten her“. She looked at him “It is obvious that you still love her”.
Rolf really did not have any answers, Rosie had hit a raw nerve, and she knew it.
He said that he must take a lot of the blame, he had never talked to his wife about his life prior to coming to the US and she was not aware of what had transpired during his childhood. She had never heard of Karin; or of his numerous amorous adventures prior to that. Nor was she aware of his goals that he needed to accomplish. Rolf always had thought that there was no point in discussing those things with Barbara.
The basic fact remained that Rolf had drifted and lost focus during the first ten years in the US. His inability to pull himself out of the mess he was in during those early years had left a mark on him.
When things finally started to go right for him he found himself in a no win situation and had lost his ability to make the decisions he needed to make.
Rolf told his mother “You will never know the agony I lived with during those years and how much I wanted to just give up and return. Yes, I still love her so very much. I cannot and never will forget her”.
Rosie looked at him and told him that this was the first meaningful discussion they have ever had. She said “I am glad we did, I hope it helped”.
And then she asked him point blank “Are you going to Bad Wiessee?”
Rolf responded with tears in his eyes “I cannot do that to Karin nor to myself. Not right now. I do not think at this time I am emotionally able to handle that”, he said after a while. “I am afraid that if I see her that I will not be able to leave her again. If that is to happen, I would have to go to her clear of any other responsibilities”.
Rosie only said “Maybe that is what needs to happen for you to be happy again. My God, Dieter, follow your feelings, life is too short. Don‘t do something you will regret for the rest of your life!”
She stood up, hugged him and said “Go, go right now. Then straighten out your life and go back to her!”
“I do not think that I ever have known love as you did, you have been very fortunate, not many people will experience that. The pain you feel is a reflection of the intensity of those emotions. And I can tell that you are suffering”, Rosie continued.
Rolf was crying, feeling alone, vulnerable and confused. Rosie was right; he felt the pain, a deep and persistent ache that had been with him for a long time now. She continued “I have talked to Franz and he is willing to help the both of you every possible way”.
Rosie had never seen this side of her son before. She felt the intensity of his emotions; and for the first time he thought she understood him.
Rolf needed to think. Right now he wanted to let loose.
Rolf asked Rosie if she was ready to have dinner and hit a nightclub with a maniac.
That was an offer she had never been able to refuse. They did not get back to Schlachtensee until mid-morning.
At the end he left Berlin undecided and sad.
He took the night train to Cologne for a three week assignment that resulted in Rolf having his first intense affair of his marriage. While it did not solve anything it was an outlet and calmed Rolf down somewhat. The opportunity had been there many times, Rolf had always resisted. Now it appeared that he did not care anymore. Nor did he know if he was trying to escape from the mess at home or forget the overpowering urge to go to Bad Wiessee, such a short trip away, but it may as well be light years.
It was an emergency assignment for Rolf just prior to his leaving the US for his posting to Singapore. It lasted eight weeks and he was accompanied by the regional manager, who was English.
David was a very unique person, who was highly regarded by everyone. He drove a Ferrari, chain smoked and coughed all night because of that. He slept very little, enjoyed the good life and was fun to be with. When he woke up coughing he just lit another cigarette. Rolf once spent a night with him in a compartment on a long distance train and would never do so again. He also owned a boat moored in a little village about 100 kilometers out of Rome.
They stayed in a luxury hotel on the Via Veneto and soon Rolf got used to the strange timing business was conducted in. The office was open from 6 AM to 2 PM with no break. One would have a snack and go to sleep for several hours, have another snack and sit in one of the open air cafes watching the crowds go by. Dinner would be late at night followed by a nightclub or a nap, before going back to the office, generally stopping at one of the street side espresso bars for a Panini and a couple of cups. The routine question from the server always was Sambuca or Grand Marnier? It was a good start to a long day.
On the weekends they would generally leave Rome to visit places of interest. Rolf’s favorite destination was Sardinia, leaving on the ferry from Civitavecchia arriving early the next morning and staying in Aga Khan’s old castle on the Costa Smeralda, which had been converted into a luxury hotel.
It was after his return from one of those trips that Rolf’s relative peace of mind was badly shaken by a phone call from Barbara that lasted a couple of hours and was an endless complaint over details of their move to Singapore. After a very heated argument Rolf’s frustration reached the boiling point and he hung up. He told the secretary that he would leave the office and be out of touch for several days. He took David with him and they went off to Milan in his car. Driving at a steady 120 MPH did not exactly calm Rolf down, but he needed to get away to sort things out. When they got to Milan they checked into the hotel and paid a short visit to the office, where they were informed that there were about 10 messages from Barbara in Rome. He ignored that, went out with David and told him the story. Rolf had not been this agitated in a long time. David said something to the degree that he had a boat, a Ferrari and a flat in Rome, along with his house in London. He did not need a wife.
Rolf called his mother and told her that he would be coming to Berlin for a week after this assignment in Rome was finished; on his way for a three week stint in Cologne. He also called Franz, hoping that they could meet in Lugano, but he was working on his TV show and Rolf would have to come to Frankfurt. Franz told him that Karin was currently staying in Bad Wiessee with him. That was all Rolf needed to hear right now. He told him he was going to call back and let him know if he was going to come to Frankfurt.
He also informed Franz that he was close to considering a divorce when he got back to the US and told him the whole story.
“Look”, Franz said “We all have to sleep in the bed we make for ourselves. I am not going to lecture you, but you must make a decision, before it is made for you. Please keep me informed. I am very concerned about you. So is Rosie”.
Rolf drowned himself in work and was as wild as he had ever been. He dragged David all over the place on weekends and they would rarely sleep at night now, hitting every disco, nightclub and operatic local restaurant they could find. Rolf never stopped. David told him “You are a bloody maniac when you get mad”.
He never returned any of Barbara’s messages and had told the secretary that he was not available when in the office. He would not talk to her until he returned to New
Jersey.
When they left Rome, David drove him to Munich from where Rolf took the night train to Berlin. David took a week vacation in Munich.
When Rolf arrived in Berlin, Fritz was on a trip somewhere. He told his mother the whole story. She could tell that he was very upset. “Look Schnucki” he said (he always had and still called her that) “I do not know what to do. I have a son, otherwise it would be over right now. I am also facing a critical point in my life as far as my career is concerned and I will not allow anything to interfere with that”.
Rosie asked him a direct and poignant question “Why did you get married? If it was for sex you were dead wrong. If it was for companionship you were still wrong. I never thought that you would get yourself trapped like this. You have been in Berlin with Barbara several times now and I always have had the feeling that you were not happy“.
“I always expected you to come back for Karin. I can tell you have never forgotten her“. She looked at him “It is obvious that you still love her”.
Rolf really did not have any answers, Rosie had hit a raw nerve, and she knew it.
He said that he must take a lot of the blame, he had never talked to his wife about his life prior to coming to the US and she was not aware of what had transpired during his childhood. She had never heard of Karin; or of his numerous amorous adventures prior to that. Nor was she aware of his goals that he needed to accomplish. Rolf always had thought that there was no point in discussing those things with Barbara.
The basic fact remained that Rolf had drifted and lost focus during the first ten years in the US. His inability to pull himself out of the mess he was in during those early years had left a mark on him.
When things finally started to go right for him he found himself in a no win situation and had lost his ability to make the decisions he needed to make.
Rolf told his mother “You will never know the agony I lived with during those years and how much I wanted to just give up and return. Yes, I still love her so very much. I cannot and never will forget her”.
Rosie looked at him and told him that this was the first meaningful discussion they have ever had. She said “I am glad we did, I hope it helped”.
And then she asked him point blank “Are you going to Bad Wiessee?”
Rolf responded with tears in his eyes “I cannot do that to Karin nor to myself. Not right now. I do not think at this time I am emotionally able to handle that”, he said after a while. “I am afraid that if I see her that I will not be able to leave her again. If that is to happen, I would have to go to her clear of any other responsibilities”.
Rosie only said “Maybe that is what needs to happen for you to be happy again. My God, Dieter, follow your feelings, life is too short. Don‘t do something you will regret for the rest of your life!”
She stood up, hugged him and said “Go, go right now. Then straighten out your life and go back to her!”
“I do not think that I ever have known love as you did, you have been very fortunate, not many people will experience that. The pain you feel is a reflection of the intensity of those emotions. And I can tell that you are suffering”, Rosie continued.
Rolf was crying, feeling alone, vulnerable and confused. Rosie was right; he felt the pain, a deep and persistent ache that had been with him for a long time now. She continued “I have talked to Franz and he is willing to help the both of you every possible way”.
Rosie had never seen this side of her son before. She felt the intensity of his emotions; and for the first time he thought she understood him.
Rolf needed to think. Right now he wanted to let loose.
Rolf asked Rosie if she was ready to have dinner and hit a nightclub with a maniac.
That was an offer she had never been able to refuse. They did not get back to Schlachtensee until mid-morning.
At the end he left Berlin undecided and sad.
He took the night train to Cologne for a three week assignment that resulted in Rolf having his first intense affair of his marriage. While it did not solve anything it was an outlet and calmed Rolf down somewhat. The opportunity had been there many times, Rolf had always resisted. Now it appeared that he did not care anymore. Nor did he know if he was trying to escape from the mess at home or forget the overpowering urge to go to Bad Wiessee, such a short trip away, but it may as well be light years.
David at the Colosseum - Rome Italy 1973
David was Rolf's senior resident covering Europe. He accompanied Rolf on his extended visits to Rome and Cologne just prior to him moving to Singapore. David was a typical English man with a dry sense of humor; and despite his chain smoking habits was very likable. Two of the more memorable quotes uttered by David were 'You are a bloody maniac when you get mad', in Rome and in Cologne 'You lead a very complicated life, there are too many women in it'.
The Cologne Dome
The famed Dom escaped major damage during the heavy bombings and fightig when the allies first crossed the Rhine. The city itself was virtually razed. Originally started in 38 BC as part of the Roman Empire it has a rich history and now has regained its status as the largest city on the Rhine. Rolf spent three weeks here on business in 1973 in great emotional turmoil, while in transit from Berlin to London, just prior to him being posted to Singapore. For the story click on the link.
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The Main Rhine Bridge into Cologne
A view at night of the cathedral
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The Cologne Dome
At one time the tallest building in the world - until replaced in that position by the Washington
Memorial - it was one of the few buildings still standing in Cologne after the war. The allies had carefully avoided destroying the Cathedral during the fierce fighting in that area.
Memorial - it was one of the few buildings still standing in Cologne after the war. The allies had carefully avoided destroying the Cathedral during the fierce fighting in that area.
Maracus Beach - Trinidad
Rolf's first international assignment was to the beautiful island of Trinidad. Maracus Beach was made famous by the Calypso song 'Rum and Coca Cola', which also brought the steel drum sound to the world. It was to be the test for Rolf to see how he performed in the field during his three visits to the island, each lasting about a month. His investigation of a large automobile theft organization that had ties all over South America for the export of stripped down cars not just earned him the respect of his head office but also of the local Police Force, which was able to break up the crime organization.
Pompeji - Mount Vesuvios
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Pompeji - The Red Light District
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Porto Cuervo - Sardinia, Italy
On the Costa Smeralda, Rolf spent many weekends in this former Aga Khan's home, now a luxury resort. Sitting at this table on his terrace he would have a long leisurly breakfast before taking a swim in the pool or the Mediterranian Sea,
Santorini, Greece
Somewhere in this maze is a Pension with a little tavern where Rolf picked up the recipe for 'Shrimp Santorini', a meal that in his later career as a chef would be his signature menu item. When he arrived at the tavern, the huge Greek owner hugged Rolf and told him "My son, we will eat, drink and dance". They did all through the night with Rolf ultimately pouring the Ouzo into a palm tree behind him to avoid getting a terrible hangover.
Santorini, Greece
This beautiful island with it's charming little towns hanging on steep cliffs overlooking the Mediteranian Sea was home to some of Rolf's most memorable weekends.
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Corsica, France
The rugged big island with it's rich history is a fascinating place to explore. Taking the local train through the mountains, crossing the island is an experience one will not soon forget
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"We are like two leaves blown around by the wind, briefly touching each other. You are a German and you always will be. I am glad we met." Edith to Rolf in Cologne
Upper Greewood Lake- The Lake House 1976
After reassignment from Singapore to the US Rolf moved into this beautiful home on an Island in the lake. There was a causeway to drive to the house, which was all pine paneled, had four bathrooms, a deck, a boatbay and dock. Only three of the eleven houses on the Island were occupied year-round. Rolf liked it there but would travel extensively and was not able to spend much time enjoying the peace and beauty of the area.
This picture was taken from the ice covered lake.
"Go, Dieter go to her, then straighten out your life and go back to her" - Rolf's mother in 1973 urging him to go to Bad Wiessee and see Karin.
“Look at you” Franz to Rolf in 1978 while in Lugano “You have given a good part of your life to follow a dream at tremendous sacrifices. You have declined to accept my offer of a carefree life with Karin. You have hurt a great many people, including myself and most of all a woman who to this day thinks the world of you; and yes, still loves you”.
Berlin, Germany and Lugano, Switzerland - 1978
It was almost exactly five years since Rolf’s stormy visit to Berlin on his way from Rome to Cologne. He had not seen his mother during all that time, as he had never gotten to go on home leave from Singapore. They had communicated frequently, so she was fully aware of his trials and tribulations. It seemed like an eternity had passed. Again he was faced with a dilemma. He now had a daughter in addition to his much older son. He was constantly traveling and spent very little time in the US. Any plans to finally go through with a divorce again were floundering.
Rolf had spent those years having may relationships all over the world, some of them very intense, going back to his stay in Cologne. The fact was that he had been trying to escape.
Returning from a prolonged visit to China, Hong Kong and Singapore, Rolf was planning to spend a couple of weeks in Berlin on vacation. He knew fully well that again it would be an emotional visit.
Fritz was in Switzerland on business and probably would not come back prior to Rolf’s leaving for the US. Rosie picked him up at Tempelhof Airport, took one look at him and told him “You look like hell”.
Rolf laughed and said that he was tired, had a lot of things on his mind and was frustrated. ‘Let’s talk over dinner” he said. When the got to Schlachtensee, he went to Franz’s apartment, slept for a couple of hours, showered and went to get Rosie. They walked to the Fischerhuette for dinner.
Here we go again, Rolf thought, those memories, now going back twenty years; will the hurt never go away? Rosie looked at him telling him that he seemed far away.
“Schnucki” he said “the last time I came here I was in a complete emotional upheaval. I did not listen to you, although our conversation was of immense help. I was very close to follow your advice and go to Bad Wiessee, instead I tried to escape from the turmoil and had an affair in Cologne. I think I was searching for something that could not be replaced. And I continued to search all that time”.
His mother looked at him, she again saw the deep emotions that her son felt, and she was sorry for him. In a way she looked at him as a reflection of her own life, but she was still unable to comprehend fully the extent of his emotions.
Rolf continued on and told her about his prolonged stay in Rio and tried to explain to his mother what this had meant to him. Accomplishment of his goals had been such an overpowering occurrence.
He chuckled “If I could get a hold of Professor Ludwig, I probably would choke him for having done this to me“.
“I thought that this would finally release me from the torment I had felt over all those years” Rolf said “but that did not happen. All I have now is a sense of a deep sadness over what was lost”. He told her that again he thought he was just drifting along, not being able to make the decisions that needed to be made.
Rosie told him that she tried to understand what he was going through, but had difficulties in doing so. She looked at the drawn face of her son and wished she could help him.
They now were on their second bottle of wine and Rolf motioned the waiter to order dinner. “I am starved, the last regular dinner I had was at the Dutch club in Singapore three days ago” he said.
They continued to talk all through dinner. In a way Rolf felt a little better after finally being able to unload his mind. He smiled to himself, thinking that not so long ago he would never have thought that he could have this type of conversation with his mother. She looked at him questioningly. Rolf told her of his thoughts.
“I am happy that we can do this” Rosie told him.
She said that Franz wanted to see him and that he needed to call him and make arrangements to meet him somewhere. That also had been on Rolf’s mind. He would call him tomorrow.
It was way past 2 AM when they finished. Rolf did not want to walk home so he called a taxi. On a spur of the moment he told the driver to go to the Eierschale for a nightcap and some good music. Rosie told him that he still was as wild as ever.
“You still don’t sleep much, how are the nightmares? She asked. His response was a short “OK”. Rosie knew that he was lying.
They got home in time for lunch. Rolf called Franz, who was in Lugano. He said to come down for a few days. Cautiously Rolf inquired about Karin. Franz said that she was in Bad Wiessee and would stay there over the holidays. The last time Rolf had been in Lugano was that fateful day they met Rosie and Fritz there to tell them about leaving Germany.
Rolf thought that it was time to face the memories head on, the good along with the bad. He made reservations to take the night train to Basel and the Swiss Railway across the country to the Italian border at Lugano. He arrived in the late afternoon. Franz picked him up at the station and took him to the house. Not much had changed.
Franz took him to dinner, it was the same restaurant down the road that he had gone with Karin, Rosie and Fritz.
They ordered drinks and started talking. Rolf felt that the old closeness between the two of them was still there. Franz was worried about him.
When Rolf told him that he had finally done all he wanted to accomplish and that now he was just drifting along aimlessly, Franz said that over the years he had always hoped that Rolf would give up and return. He said that he was proud of him to have fought his battles alone, but that the cost had been excessive.
“Look at you” Franz said “You have given a good part of your life to follow a dream at tremendous sacrifices. You have declined to accept my offer of a carefree life with Karin. You have hurt a great many people, including myself and most of all a woman who to this day thinks the world of you; and yes, still loves you”.
He said that he was glad that he had come to terms with Rosie.
Rolf knew that Franz was right and that he meant well. They would talk a lot over the next few days. It almost seemed like the old times.
Rolf left Lugano in a somber mood. When he got back to the house in Schlachtensee, he took it easy for a few days. He went to dinner with his mother every night and Rosie realized that he was deep in thought.
Rolf was scheduled to return to Rio on January 1, and gave serious consideration to stay in Berlin over the holidays, going directly to Brazil. That would have meant that he was not going to be in the US for a total of six months between the two field trips and his vacation. He decided to return for a couple of weeks, as he also was scheduled to go to Southeast Asia after his return from Rio.
Rolf was a changed person, his discussions with Rosie and Franz had left a deep mark on him. He knew he needed to put some order into his life, the sooner the better.
Little did he know an emergency recall from his trip to Southeast Asia would create turmoil in his life and his career for the next four years.
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The Wall
The endless ten foot high, graffiti covered concrete wall encircled all of West Berlin. Behind it were machine gun towers, land mines, trip wires and electric fences. Guards were under orders to shoot to kill anyone trying to cross.
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The Long Term Assignment to Hamilton, Bermuda
The senior lady of Bermuda's grand hotels, the Hamilton Princess was home to most of Rolf's stays on the island, except for those times that he managed to get a cottage at the Elbow Beach. Just a short walk from Front Street and the business district it was convenient.
The famous Light Tower, Bermuda
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Front Street, Hamilton, Bermuda
During the off-season this main tourist shopping area by the bay is normally very quiet.
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Rolf and Patricia at Charley - Late 2006
Now a popular tourist attraction, Rolf had gone through the check point many times when visiting Berlin.
Rolf at the Wall 1973
Machine gun towers, mines, trip wires and dogs were all behind it to stop anyone from coming across.
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East Berlin 1971
Rolf had rented a car for his first trip across the border in 15 years. He now had an American passport. His mother was not allowed to cross.
The terrible desolation, the open spaces where the bombed out buildings had been removed and the oppressive atmosphere all were depressing. Not much had been build since the war had ended 26 years ago. Whatever food was available was horrible. The unsmiling people were afraid to talk under the ever watchful eyes of the STASI. |
Rolf's third Career
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