A Determined Journey
Introduction
  • Introduction & Index
  • Author's Profile
  • The War Child
  • The Post War Child
  • The Family
  • Adolescence
  • The Teen Years
  • Adulthood - Karin
  • The United States
  • The Asian Years
  • The Philippines - Marlene
  • Brazil - The Final Step
  • The American Family
  • A Personal Crisis
  • Patricia
  • The Latin American Years
  • Berlin, Germany - November 2011
  • The Fall of the Wall - November 9, 1989
  • Berlin and Munich November 2012
  • Berlin 2016
  • Munich, Tegernsee and Salzberg 2016
  • The Winds of Change
  • The Later Years
  • Memory Road
  • Flashback - The Year 1963
  • Epilogue
  • Rolfs Blog
  • The Scrap Books

                                                                                             
"I want to travel the world, I want to change the way work is done and I want to seduce every beautiful woman I meet!" - Rolf in front of his class in business school defining his goals.

Chapter V - The Teen Years


Dieter had largely been sucessful in shedding his first name in favor of being called Rolf by his teachers and friends. He entered Business School knowing what he wanted out of life. The establishment of official goals at the beginning of school cemented his plans.
 
He had the whole lower floor in the mansion to himself and developed friendships and romantic relationships which lasted all through school, with a clique hanging out at his place virtually around the clock. There were many parties mixed in with hard studying.
 
On his 16th birthday Rolf was introduced to the finer things in life by an older girl during a prolonged stay in Switzerland and he would take full advantage of his newfound knowledge when he returned to Berlin.


A gradually widening rift with his mother now became increasingly apparent, particularly after she told him that he had been a mistake and that his birth had interfered with her movie career. The relationship went into a deep freeze after Rolf went to Lugano with Karin in 1959 to tell her of his plans to leave the country. Reconciiation did not come until the late 1960ties.

Contemplation - Rolf's Wall

Rolf had always had a tendency to want to be alone, something that was probably the result of his early childhood experiences. He had few friends in school and generally there were few children around the area were he lived. When he moved to Schlachtensee it was natural for him to go exploring on his own. Rolf also increasingly searched for information to put into perspective what he had experienced during the first ten years of his life. That proved to be extremely difficult.

When he realized that his mother and Fritz were basically lying to him about historical facts he started to withdraw. There came a day that Rolf sat with his mother listening to the radio about unrest in the Soviet occupied countries. Rolf asked her point blank why Germany had attacked and occupied virtually all of Europe. The only answer he got was that the Germans needed more room to live in (Lebensraum). Why they needed more than anyone else was not explained.
 
She continued on that during the Hitler regime women were supposed to have as many children as possible to populate those conquered areas. Rosie told him that she did not want to do that as she wanted to become a famous actress. She told him that her becoming pregnant had been a mistake and that it had interfered with her movie career.

It took a while for that discussion to sink in, when it did Rolf started to withdraw completely into his small circle of friends and an endless search for closeness and affection with someone he could trust.

Rolf's relationship with his mother was cool and turned ice cold after Lugano, only to be repaired  many years later.
Business School 1955 to 1958

Prior to commencing classes all students were given an assignment - to prepare a presentation as to what their career goals were.

“Professor Ludwig, Ladies and Gentlemen” Rolf started “I have decided that I do not want to be a bookkeeper or accountant or anyone like that with ledgers and pencils in a room that is full of dusty old papers. I do want to see the world. I want to work for some international company, travel and help improve the way work is done. I want to become an international business manager. I want to see New York, Hong Kong, Singapore, Tokyo, Rio de Janeiro, the Himalayas, the Amazon and many other places. And I want to move to the United States as soon as I graduate and get my papers”. 

“Thank you very much for your attention”. Rolf started to leave, turned around raised his hand and added “I almost forgot, I also want to seduce every beautiful woman I meet”. With that the class went wild. Professor Ludwig looked at Rolf quizzically and nodded. When things had calmed down he said “Ignoring that last part, Mister Schmidt has shown you how to give a presentation and bring his point across“. 


Giesela with Rolf's mother and friends at Lake Lucerne

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Just having come out of puberty, Rolf's fantasies were running rampant. Little did he know that when he arrived in Basel for a visit to see his mother that his infatuation with the pretty young woman would soon turn serious. Gisela's seduction of Rolf on his 16th birthday set the tone for his many relationships.

Below is Fritz with Gisela at the club in Basel. By coincidence Fritz had his own girlfriend by the same name. Rosie had no real objections to Fritz keeping a girl on the side, as she had her own affairs in Berlin, some of which became news worthy.

Rolf with Gisela, his mother, Edith and Gisela's husband at Lake Geneva, Switzerland.

It was a very confusing time for young Rolf.

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Mother with Gisela at Basel Country Club

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The two women were inseparable during the Swiss Years and without a doubt discussed Gisela's relationship with Rolf.

Fritz' Gisela in Basel 

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Fritz met her when he first went to Switzerland to open the Casinos. She was 17 at the time. Rosie tolerated this as she had her own flings in Berlin.

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Gisela and Rolf at the Basel Country Club

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When they did not go on day trips into the Swiss country side or the Black Forest, they would generally hang around the pool all day. Rosie and Gisela tried to get Rolf to spend some time with the local girls his age but he had absolutely no interest in doing that.


The two of them were basically very content with their nightly meetings. To Rolf it was a whole new world and he was more than eager to learn.

"Relax, You will be sleeping well tonight" - Gisela to Rolf on his 16th birthday, while sitting on his bed, gently starting to seduce him.

Gisela

Born in 1935, Gisela had been four years old when the war broke out. Living in Berlin in a lower income development with a dysfunctional family, she was forced at the age of 5 to become one of the Hitler youth, wearing pretty dresses and going through political indoctrination. When the bombing started she learned to hate, first the enemy who did such horrible things, then her parents and ultimately the environment she was living in. She became rebellious and was in constant trouble with the school authorities. In school her hands were often caned for various infarctions.  Somehow she survived and by the time she turned sixteen had turned into a pretty girl, with long blond hair, beautiful eyes and a pleasant smile. She was flirtatious and seductive. She became sexually active soon after, more as an escape then a specific need. When she turned eighteen she married a man about 12 years older who was a croupier in a casino.

He generally worked from ten in the evening until 6 the following morning, when he came home and went to sleep. This was not what she had anticipated married life to be. She became quickly frustrated. There was virtually no intimacy and marital relations were rare.

After about a year of this she was ready to leave, when he came home one day and announced that he had been hired by a new casino operator who was opening casinos in Switzerland, the first one would open in Basel in a couple of weeks. They would stay in the hotel where the casino was, all expenses paid.

So they packed their meager belongings and took the train to Basel, where the met the owners, Fritz and his wife, Rosemarie.

It did not take long for the women to become friends. She confided in Rosie. The two talked about their lives and Rosie told her that she had a fifteen year old son, Dieter, who would be coming down from Berlin this weekend to stay with them. She also told Gisela that Fritz was having an affair with a seventeen year old local girl. She smiled and continued on, “I do not really mind, I have my own relationships in Berlin“.

Gisela was confused by all this, she had basically lived a boring life after the war.

Rosie told her that she would be going on a lot of trips with her son all over Switzerland and Bavaria. Gisela was welcome to come along.

It would also be Dieters sixteenth birthday next month and she was going to have a small party. There would be mostly women, as the men were working.

Rolf arrived in Basel, tired from the long trip. He was not rally sure he wanted to be here, he was afraid of being bored. He had left Berlin and his girl friends behind, thinking that he probably would have been much happier at the mansion by himself, giving parties.

His mother introduced him to Gisela. The first thing he said to her was “Please call me Rolf, I hate the name Dieter”. She always would.

The next Day they took a trip to Lucerne, a pretty lakeside Town. On the way back Rolf began to get car sick from the constant serpentine driving, Rosie stopped the car to let him get some fresh air. Gisela suggested that he lay down on the back seat, so he could put his head on her lap. Laying down did help, but now he had absolutely no intentions to sit back up. He became very conscious of Gisela’s thighs which he could feel through the summery short dress she was wearing. He liked the feeling and the resultant sensations. 

That became the standard procedure during the frequent trips that followed. Sometimes Rolf pretended to want to take a nap, giving him the opportunity to put one of his hands on her leg. He seemed to be infatuated. Gisela thought that this was kind of cute. She liked him, he was a nice boy.

On the day of his birthday she gave him a card and a hug. They all met at the restaurant and had dinner and a lot of wine. There were about fifteen people including another Gisela, who was Fritz’s girlfriend.

The party broke up at eleven and Rolf went to his Room. His mother and Gisela went to the casino to say hello.

Rolf had taken a shower and gone to bed, was reading a book and drinking a beer when the adjoining door opened and Gisela came in. She was wearing only a small robe and was smiling at him. She asked if he had enjoyed his dinner. He put the book down and nodded. He suddenly was scared.

She sat on the bed next to him, her robe parted exposing her legs. He could see that she was not wearing any clothing underneath the robe. She was stroking his hair. “You now are sixteen years old” she said “That is a big mile stone in your life”. He thought of the goals he had set for himself in business school and figured that there would be many more mile stones.

What he did not anticipate was that one was imminent right now. Gisela had slipped her hand under the sheets and was stroking the inside of his leg, casually touching him while looking into his eyes. “Don’t be afraid, you will be sleeping well tonight”. With that she dropped her robe, sliding into bed with him. The naked body by his side had an electrifying effect. He did not know what to do next. “Relax’ she said and kissed him, first gently than deeply. He felt himself responding. She was all over him now, moving on top of him and gently guided him. He started moaning and was lost.

Several more times did they make love, now with less urgency but the same intensity, as he felt more secure in her arms.

He did not get up until late in the morning, went down for breakfast, avoided his mother’s searching eyes and went for a walk. Rosie could easily tell that something was different with him and soon put two and two together. Good for him, she thought.

The nightly meetings continued until the Swiss Government closed down the casinos and everyone returned to Berlin.

Rolf in front of Hotel in Basel

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Rolf was not yet allowed to drive in Switzerland, but dreamed of running the cycle through the serpentine highways at breakneck speed.

Downtown Basel with Tram

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Rolf would spend much time in the beautiful city, exploring the luxurious stores and restaurants. Never having been touched by the war, it was a new experience for Rolf to see historic buildings in a country that always prided itself on it's neutrality and independence. It was also the first time in Rolf's life that he was exposed to some of the luxuries of life that had been unavailable in Germany during the early post war years.  

Business School And coming of Age - 1955 to 1958


Starting business school was milestone in Rolf’s life. He now was being treated as an adult and was addressed by the professors as ‘Mister’, rather than his first name. This was the crucial time were the foundation for his future was shaped. Ten years after the end of the war much had been accomplished to bring the educational system back to a level of excellence. There still was a critical shortage of schools, with the result that a lot of classes had to be double shifted at all levels. There also was a major shortage of teachers and professors that would take decades to rectify, with most of them having been lost during the war. There were few woman in the system. Rolf was fortunate to have a professor as a mentor who had been educated at Heidelberg and had the traditional cut across his cheek to show for it. He would have a major impact on Rolf’s life for the next 25 years

During the initial interview phase at the school he had met one of his future classmates, Maria, with whom he would be very close over the next three years. After school started, he also met Rosie and Ingrid who would become part of his study group along with his boyfriend Teja with his girlfriend, Monica. They all became almost constant Guests at the mansion and Rolf would ultimately get romantically involved with Ingrid and Rosie, with those relationships lasting all through school.


The Goals

 
On the first full day of business school Professor Ludwig went over some basic procedures, had everyone introduce themselves to the rest of the class and told them they he would send them home for the weekend with one assignment.

The would have to formulate goals that they wanted to accomplish after graduation

and present them to the class on Monday morning. They would be judged by the way they presented them and their ability to voice their meaning.

Rolf took Maria home with him and they worked on the assignment over the weekend. They practiced their presentations on each other.

Most of the presentations were perfunctory and rambling. When Rolf’s turn came, he went to the front of the room amid some snickers from the class, who remembered Friday’s exchange on Rosie’s introduction.

“Professor Ludwig, Ladies and Gentlemen” he started “I have decided that I do not want to be a bookkeeper or accountant or anyone like that with ledgers and pencils in a room that is full of dusty old papers. I do want to see the world. I want to work for some international company, travel and help improve the way work is done. I want to become an international business manager. I want to see New York, Hong Kong, Singapore, Tokyo, Rio de Janeiro, the Himalayas, the Amazon and many other places. And I want to move to the United States as soon as I graduate and get my papers”.  

“Thank you very much for your attention”. Rolf started to leave, turned around raised his hand and added “I almost forgot, I also want to seduce every beautiful woman I meet”. With that the class went wild. Professor Ludwig looked at Rolf quizzically and nodded. When things had calmed down he said “Ignoring that last part, Mister Schmidt has shown you how to give a presentation and bring his point across“.  

After class some of his mates came up to him, teasing about what seemed to be far fetched ideas. Rosie said “I loved the way you did this, it was very impressive”. Maria hugged him and said “I wish you all the best, I know you will make it”. All the goals would be put into official format and be posted on the wall in the class room.

During these years Rolf stayed focused on what he was trying to achieve. His grades in those subjects he decided were important were high. That included international business, trade, accounting, math, history and languages. He did not fully apply himself to those subjects he considered immaterial, such as union law, labor relations and civil service. He found that he was capable of excelling on an overall basis and probably could have graduated with the highest grades, but he did not care.

At the end Professor Ludwig told him “Mr. Schmidt, you are highly intelligent, you are also stubborn and always want to do things your way. Remember that this will not always work. Pursue your dreams the best you can, with a single minded determination and passion. Do not ever waver from your path. I wish you success in what you are trying to accomplish, I have a feeling you will get everything you want”. 

While in the middle of the final tests for graduation, Rolf went to the American embassy on Tuesday, March 11, 1958 and filed for a visa. It was a day marked in history, when an American B47 accidentally dropped an Atom bomb on South Carolina. It caused just a conventional explosion.

A few days later the test results were announced and Rolf was on his way. He threw a big three day party at the mansion for all his friends. Professor Ludwig visited for a few hours on the first day, talked to everyone and gave a toast. When leaving, he came over to Rolf, shook his hand and said “Mr. Schmidt, it was a pleasure having you in my class. I wish you all the best. I have a feeling that you will succeed”. He even had a smile on his face.

It was less than two months later, after the first challenge was thrown at him that he met Karin and fell in love, deeply and completely. Rolf, over the next two years now was faced with a battle that almost tore him apart. The consequences of the decisions he ultimately made would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The day the goals were set would become the defining day for Rolf, everything he would do over the next 25 years would be driven by what he had said. It would destroy his first big love, his first marriage; and almost Rolf himself. His quest will ultimately end raising his arms in triumph and falling on to his knees, his head buried in his hands, on a hot and steamy day on the banks of the Amazon in Manaus, Brazil with a beautiful Brazilian woman, who never knew what she had done when she brought Rolf here on business.

During the early months of school a clique would form with Rolf as the leader, which included some of the girls from the class and his boyfriend Teja. They would study together at Rolf’s place on a daily basis and have frequent parties, with other friends joining them. Sometimes it became very hard work to get ready for written and verbal exams and the group would virtually live at the mansion in Rolf’s apartment and study.

It soon became a natural outlet for them to get romantically involved with each other. They stayed together all through school. Since Teja would not date anyone but Monica, Rolf now found himself in the enviable position to have Maria, Ingrid and Rosie to himself. After his indoctrination into the more pleasurable side of life, he would take full advantage of his position.

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Business School class picture taken in early 1958. Front Center is Professor Ludwig. Front row left is Ingrid, third from left Rosie; middle row third from right in front of Teja is Maria. Guys in the back, right is Teja, third from left Rolf.


Nine of the students pictured did not pass the final test and either dropped out or had to repeat the last year. All of Rolf's friends graduated.

"Mr. Schmidt, You are highly intelligent and capable to accomplish anything. But you are also stubborn and always want to do things your way. Remember that this will not always work!" Professor Ludwig to Rolf after graduation.
Maria

Maria grew up and spent the war years in one of the Eastern German states, which was strictly catholic. They were displaced when the Russians overran the area, which is now part of Poland and had to leave everything behind and became part of the millions of refugees who were streaming west during the final year of the war.

She had a strict upbringing, although the liberal life in Berlin soon would start to crack that wall that surrounded her. By the time she applied for business school she was very much aware of the fact that she was drawing appreciative glances. She was a very pretty girl and dressed seductively, much to the chagrin of her father. She had not been allowed to date up that time, but that would change with one condition, her father insisted on meeting any prospective date first.


She was scheduled to meet with Professor Ludwig before school started, as he talked to all the students who would be in his class. He was going to be a strict teacher, who would not tolerate any nonsense, she thought. While talking with Professor Ludwig one of the new students walked into the room for his appointment. He sat in the back of the classroom, waiting for her to be finished. She felt his eyes on her and kept glancing at him. He had a smile on his face. When she finished with the Professor she walked out the door and decided to wait for her unknown classmate. About half an hour later he appeared and came over to her. “I guess we are going to be classmates” he said “My name is Rolf”. 

“I am Maria” she said. He kept looking at her. He appeared to be mesmerized by the straps of her dress, that kept falling off her shoulder. They talked about Professor Ludwig and what they were going to do for the rest of the summer while walking to the S-Bahn; and he took her home. Rolf asked her for a date to go to a movie and dinner. She said that would be very nice, but that he would have to meet her father first. He looked at her to see if she was teasing, but she was serious. “It is one of the conditions he set for me to be able to get out on dates” she said. She would call him tonight to let him know when this was going to happen. Rolf went home not knowing what to think. It was very unusual in Berlin for teenagers to be that closely supervised. They generally did what they wanted to do at any time.

She called later that night and said to come for dinner tomorrow at six.

When he arrived he met the whole family. Two brothers, two sisters and her parents. He felt he was going to an examination. They sat down and prayed, something Rolf had stopped doing four years ago when he got fed up with the Lutheran Church.

He did not feel comfortable but he wanted to date the girl badly. The family took to him and the father gave his permission. “You take good care of my daughter” he said.

So they decided to go to the Ku-Damm to see ‘Picnic’, a steamy Kim Novak/Bill Holden movie; that did absolutely nothing to cool Rolf down. Maria was happy, it was her first date and she liked Rolf. They had a box for themselves in the theater and started to get closer to each other, hold hands and kiss. Maria really enjoyed this and was all over Rolf, who apparently had a hard time dealing with the sensations she created. He kept returning to her neck where the straps to her dress were falling down again, and fantasized about pushing them further. He wondered what that would be like.

They would date often over the next couple of months and started to go to his place, but nothing further developed. He was afraid of her father and she had told him that she had to go to confession, something that he did not understand and that was alien to him.

Maria thought to herself that she probably scared Rolf. She was perfectly willing to go further with him. There was a feeling in her of needing to explore life and discover new things. She was trying to figure out on how to overcome his fears.  They often came close to having a sexual relationship but did not. They never would.

It did not occur to Rolf until after graduation and Maria had left the country that he may have missed something beautiful.


Small party at Rolf's place

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Rolf, Ingrid, Werner, Monica and Rosie. Teja took the picture in Rolf's living room. Note the 300 year old Persian prayer rug, now overhanging the stairway in Patricia and Rolf's house in Newport, NH. Also note that everyone is dressed up for these frequent breaks from the study routines. Large parties for 30 or more people happened about once a month. For those the large kitchen across the hall was also opened up for additional space and dancing room in the hallway. Alcoholic beverages were freely available, but there was an unwritten rule that anyone invited who abused this privilege by getting drunk would be excluded from any further gatherings. The members of the 'clique' would carefully watch over this. There never was any problem.

The same rule basically applied to the weekly Friday after school meetings at the local pub by the school with Professor Ludwig, where next week's class activities were discussed; an invaluable tool to pass difficult tests. 


The door on the right back led to a large old fashioned bathroom with a wood fired water heater. It took about 3 hours for the water to get warm. The house had seven bathrooms; only this one contained a bathtub. A weekly visit to the public bathhouse substituted for this lack.

Rolf hanging around

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Rosie (The Girl)

Rosemarie was in the midst of a big argument with her mother about the impossible living conditions. They had a small apartment with two rooms and a small kitchen. Her parents were divorced right after she was born at the beginning of the war. Her father had not been heard from and was presumed killed in action on the eastern front. Her mother collected a small pension for him. She worked, but felt that she could not afford more.

As countless other families, she was the victim of the war and its aftermath.

They each had one of the rooms, but there was no privacy. Rosie wanted to be able to have a social life. But each time the subject came up, she hit a brick wall.

She started to date and spent a lot of time away from home. Soon she would be going to business school and meet a new circle of friends. Her dream was to be able to get her own place after graduation in three years.  They had lived in Stuttgart during the war and were spared major bombardment and street fighting. When the American occupation troops arrived they were happy.

She was a pretty girl with a fresh face.  She had lost her virginity at the age of 13 in a forest by Lake Wansee where she had gone swimming with a much older boy. She did not think that having sex was anything to write home about. She hoped there was more to it.

On the first day of school everyone was supposed to say a few words about themselves and tell what they expected to get out of school. She did not really know what to say and mumbled something about making new friends and having some fun. “I’ll volunteer for that”, one of her classmates chipped in. She found out a little later that his name was Rolf.

“I bet you would’ said Professor Ludwig who had already heard about Rolf and Maria’s summer romance. He sensed that there was something different about this young man. He was going to go behind that façade and find out what it was.

“Mr. Schmidt”, he said “There are twenty two young ladies in this class, I trust you are not planning to date all of them”. The class was laughing; Rolf thought that it was actually a good Idea.

When Rolf’s turn came to talk, he started off “I so far am only planning to date fourteen of the ladies, but that could change” The class now was hysterical and even Professor Ludwig had a smile on his normally stoic face. It was the beginning of good natured sparring the two of them would carry on for the next three years. Rosie looked at Rolf, like he was nuts. Maria, who was sitting next to him, blushed and smiled at him.

He continued “I am, like all of you the remnants of a generation that never had a chance. I intend to learn as much as possible about what happened and why. I also would like to walk away from here in three years having learned the tools to accomplish my goals, which I will talk about Monday. I will look to Professor Ludwig to help me with that process”.

Rosie was impressed, she decided that she wanted to get to know him better.

It was not long after school started that she became part of Rolf’s circle of friends and would spend a lot of time at his place in Schlachtensee. She was awed by the luxury and spacious living quarters he had. She was happy to get away from her own crowded place. Sometimes she managed to be alone with him and they would have some fun. She tried to encourage more intensive involvement. Rolf would always draw back. It was not until the middle of the following year that she finally managed to get him to be more interested. He had been away for a while and seemed somehow different when he returned.

Rosie was having some trouble in school with math and accounting procedures; and she was terrified of the verbal tests. Rolf worked with her and she was coming along nicely. He could do three digit multiplications in his head faster than anyone in school and showed her ho to do that.. He taught her how speak in front of other people and how to overcome stage fright.

One night Teja and Monica asked if they could have some privacy. Rolf told them to go to his mother’s floor and do whatever they wanted. He grabbed a couple of beers and sat down next to Rosie. She looked at Rolf and said “This sounds like it was planned, but I am fine with that”. It actually was not planned, but he was not going to argue.

They started to fool around ultimately ending up in the bedroom under the sheets making love. She did not know why it had taken so long for Rolf to make love to her, it did not matter, it certainly was a lot better than what she remembered, Rosie thought to herself.

They dated intermittently all through school, but her attempts to make the relationship more permanent were not successful. After they graduated she tried several times to contact Rolf, but was unable to do so. She ultimately found out from Teja that he was involved in an intense relationship and spent most of his time in Bavaria with her.

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Teja and Rolf - 1955

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The two of them had gone through high school together and continued on to business school. Teja's goal was to become an executive with Mercedes in Stuttgart, which he did. Teja remained friends with Rolf's mother until her death. He had dated Monica through the school years and finally married her in 1979, never having had any other relationship.
 
Teja always would tease Rolf about his dating habits.

Daniela Confirmation - 1958

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With Oma and Opa. Rolf had always been very fond of Daniela. As kids they decided they would get married. That would have been illegal in Germany as she was a first cousin. They had no contact after Rolf's departure and she ultimately married a Japanese ski lift developer in Hawaii


Rolf at a wedding sporting his 'Bill Haley' hair - 1955

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Rolf on left next to the bride, Rosie on right, Fritz kissing the leg of the brides maid. The groom, a Pan American pilot, on floor. It was not unusual for those type of parties to last through the night into the next afternoon.

"You will never know how much I hurt, I feel like my heart has been torn out of me" Rolf to Ingrid about his breakup with Karin, just before he left Berlin.


Ingrid 1960 with her German Shepherd

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Ingrid was the only person he would allow to visit him after his breakup with Karin. She came often during the last couple of month of Rolf being in Berlin and tried to cheer him up.
 
He always had been very fond of her and during the school years they had an ongoing intimate relationship. 

They shared a bond in that neither one of them wanted to get married or have children, which was very common with the war generation. Ingrid was looking forward to continuing their relationship past the school years, however Rolf fell in love with Karin shortly after graduation and they drifted apart.

After the break with Karin she was the only person Rolf allowed to visit him but he was in too much emotional pain and not receptive to her advances. He refused to come out of his self imposed isolation for a long time.

Ingrid

Ingrid woke up and thought that this was going to be a very important day in her life. She had had a very non-descript childhood, spent the war years on a farm in Bavaria, not having much of a memory of anything bad having happened to her. She did remember the American troops, who liberated Bavaria and distributed Candy to the Children. She lived with her mother in Zehlendorf, a nice suburban area in the western part of Berlin. Her father had been killed in action at the Russian front.

Today was June 23, tomorrow would be her fifteenth birthday. She had been accepted into business school, which would not start until mid-September. Her mother worked and she was mostly alone in the house with her German Shepherd, who was her constant companion.

A very pretty brunette with green eyes, she did not have much of a social life. She had one girlfriend with whom she would go to nightclubs once in a while, but she had not had much of experience with boys, nor had she found anyone who was interesting to her. Well, she thought, hopefully that will change, once school started.

She was going to the North Sea shore for five weeks with her girl friend, and they would soak in the sun and come back nicely tanned and ready for school.

On the first day of class she met the rest of the students for the first time. There were twenty two girls and nine boys. Not very promising she thought. The large discrepancy was prevalent for this generation, as a lot of the boys had been killed during the final battle for Berlin. She had met Professor Ludwig once during the preliminary screening. He would be their mentor for the next three years.

When asked to tell the class what she expected to get out of school, she was not sure what to say. She wanted to learn history and find out what really happened in her country over the past twenty five years. Looking to get an education that would give her a chance to be comfortable in her life was important.

For her goals Ingrid wanted to live a peaceful life, maybe get married one day and have a job that would make her financially independent.    

One Day in November she was approached by a class mate, Rolf, who she had little contact with. He was giving a party at his house in Schlachtensee and he asked if she would like to come. She knew that several other class member were attending. The place was not very far from where she lived and she was aware that it was one of the most exclusive areas in West Berlin. She said yes, she would come, remembering his comments at the beginning of school in regard to dating. She was curious what he was like and wanted to find out if he really would live up to his reputation.

She also knew that there was a clique of students that had formed and met almost every day at Rolf’s place. There was Teja, Rolf‘s best friend, the tallest boy in the class, good looking and a fancy dresser. He was chased by a lot of the girls. And then there was Rosemarie, the most beautiful girl in the class and Monica, Teja‘s girl friend. And there was Maria, apparently Rolf’s girl friend. Ingrid was about to become part of this group.

Maria was not at the party, she was not allowed to attend by her strict catholic parents. Ingrid thought that it was sort of strange that Rolf was close to Maria, when she was on such a short leash. She had a lot of fun dancing with Rolf to the newest Rock’n’Roll hits. As the evening wore on the music changed more to Glen Miller and slow close dancing. Rolf said “Lets go to the kitchen and have a bite to eat. They did amid the bunch of German Shepherds and Rolf’s beautiful Cingo.

He asked her if she wanted to go to a movie with him this coming Friday and spend the Day with him on the lake. It would be cold and windy, but Rolf non-chalantly quibbled “We can keep each other warm”. He told her that he loved being on the lake at this time of the year, when it was peaceful and few people were about. She said that she would be happy to go with him. Rolf came over to her and kissed her. She felt flustered, she did not have much experience being close to someone. Rolf took her for a walk, leaving the Party. They went to the lake and sat on a bench holding each other, kissing, not doing much else.

They dated intermittently and found that they liked each other very much. He told her that he would be going to Switzerland for a while. He did not know for how long, but he would have to return by May to take the spring verbal tests in school. He would make several trips to Berlin to catch up on school work.

Rolf came back to Berlin by the end of April to study with the group. He invited Ingrid to join them. His parents had left and gone to Lugano for the summer. She got a call from him the night of his return and asked her if she was free to take in a movie and dinner. She was happy that he was back, she had missed him. It was April 27, 1956.

By the time they finished dinner it was almost 11 o’clock. He suggested that they go to his place and listen to some music and have a beer. She could think of nothing better to do. Rolf seemed somehow different, more sure of himself. Being curious what was going to happen, she anticipated that Rolf was going to ask her to stay with him.

They danced and turning the lights low sat on the sofa and started kissing. There was an urgency in his embrace that she had not felt before. She was happy to let herself go. Rolf asked her to stay the night. She told him that she was still a Virgin. She giggled and said “We can celebrate my sixteenth birthday a little early”.

They did, Ingrid would never be the same again. 

They dated on and off all through school, she would always be there for him. She was aware that he had other girls during that time, Rosie being the most serious. She also knew that he liked Maria very much, but she did not think anything would ever come of that.

He always came back to her. When school ended they drifted apart. She started to work for Rolf’s step father as a secretary and saw Rolf infrequently. Then she heard from Fritz that Rolf was in a serious relationship and spent most his time with her in Bad Wiessee. He told Ingrid that he was strongly opposed to Rolf’s leaving and that they were basically on non-speaking terms.


They also would continue to spend most of their time in Lugano. Fritz told her to talk some sense into Rolf, knowing that they have had a very close relationship. She refused to interfere.

Ingrid would be the only one to communicate with him after he left Germany. She had known about his break-up with Karin and tried to comfort him. They saw each other frequently during Rolf‘s last three months in Berlin and spent a lot of time in his apartment talking about what life had been like over the past two years, but nothing ever happened between them, Rolf was in too much emotional pain.

She was sad, but understood.
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Bad Wiessee - Contemplation

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Rolf had planned to spend most of the summer of 1957 at his uncle's house. After a couple of weeks he became lonely and called Ingrid to join him, but she could only do so for a couple of weeks. They generally spent the night at a local pub, where a young pretty girl by the name of Uschi would take care of them. After Ingrid left Uschi told Rolf one night that he looked lonely. She invited him for a walk to the lake and they ended up at her place for the night. They traveled all over Bavaria and Austria together for the rest of the summer. It was a welcome diversion for Rolf who was trying to think of his future. 


One day Franz asked Rolf to come along to Munich with him, he needed to do some shopping and check on his apartment. "We can go to a music store and you can pick up some records" he said, knowing that Rolf would love that idea. There were a number of American songs that were popular, one of the being Don Gibson's "Oh, Lonesome Me'. Rolf bought the 45' and when he got back to Bad Wiessee, he also listened to the flip side. It was a beautiful song, one that would ultimately become one of the biggest records of all time, when Ray Charles released it in 1962, followed by many other artists over the next 50 years. It was 'I can't stop loving you'. The following year when Rolf met Karin, it would be one of their favorite records, not anticipating that it was going to be a superhit.


In 1962 Rolf was depressed and and not sure what the future would hold for him. One day he heard the new Ray Charles version and the memories came flooding back. 

The Fischerhuette Restaurant on Lake Schlachtensee

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Many times did Rolf come here with Karin for Dinner, whenever they were in Berlin

Schlachtensee in the Winter

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Beautiful isolation - Rolf would spend a lot of time on the frozen lake with Cingo, who loved to slide on the smooth ice hidden under the snow.


Bad Wiessee Revisited - An emotional Look at the Past

Franz' House - Jaegerwinkel 2008

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The house, now a memorial to Franz is closed and maintained by the Grothe foundation. When Patricia and Rolf walked up the winding road to the Jaegerwinkel he looked at what now was a fully developed sub-division. When Franz first build the house there were only three other buildings in the neighborhood. From the second floor one could look straight down to the lake across open fields. Now there is a ten foot dense hedge surrounding the yard, with the only opening being the main entrance. When Franz bought the other house he ultimately offered to Karin and Rolf it was only one of two buildings along the stream leading to the town.