Chapter XXIII
A Long Look At The Past
It was a cold, snowy day in March 2006. Rolf was alone at home; he was restless and deep in thought. During the past few weeks he had been trying to organize his slides and pictures, which had accumulated over the years and put them into some order with the ultimate goal to scan them and have them on his computer.
One of the albums he had looked through was from his first return to Berlin in 1967 with his former wife. That visit had been emotional and resulted in reconciliation with his mother. It was also the first time Rolf saw the wall surrounding the city. It was a deeply depressing experience. Over the next fifteen years he would return many times to Berlin, sometimes crossing Checkpoint Charlie into the Eastern Zone; but always shying away from those places that had formed his early childhood and the memories of the war. The nightmares which had always been there, returned with a fury every time he left Berlin.
He closed the album and decided that it was time to confront the past; and take his wife to Berlin for her first visit; never for one moment anticipating his reaction to the visit. The magnitude of the impact would not manifest itself until a few days after his return to the US.
Patricia suggested to put the pictures and notes Rolf had assembled into scrap books, which was done over the next few months. In 2008 they went to Bavaria to visit his Uncle Franz' grave and his house, which now is a memorial.
These images were taken from the scrap books, most of them not previously published. The story behind them is outlined in the following chapters, with a brief description following each page below.
A visit to the apartment complex on the Kaiserdamm where Rolf spent most of the last couple years of the war with his grand parents. Until May 1, 1945 they were in the bunker underneath the building. The picture of Rolf shows him at the entrance to what now is a storage cellar. Patricia would tell him later that she had never before seen the expression on his face.
Link to "The War Child"
Berlin 1967 - The Brandenburg Gate blocked off by The Wall, machine gun towers and heavily armed patrol boats surround West Berlin. Many people would die trying to get out from the East before The Wall came down in 1989 and Germany was reunified.
"Baby Rolf's' first pictures in 1940. The war was raging, but with little impact on the daily life of the average German. Born into an affluent and well known family, he was pampered. All that would soon change.
Rolf's baptism - In the church, the ruins of which now stand as a memorial to the fallacies of war. In the lower left picture is Rolf's mother (right); on the left famed German movie composer and Rolf's godfather Franz Grothe. Rolf's father would be out of the picture shortly after the baptism.
There are few German families who have any extensive pictorial history in their possession, as most personal belongings were lost in the war. As fate would have it, none of the family residences in Berlin were destroyed by the bombings and final street battles, as was the case with over 90% of all housing in the city.
Rolf in 1946 with his mother. Being part of a musical family, Rolf was expected to follow in those steps. Forced to take piano lessons (there were three Grand Pianos in the apartment), Rolf started to show the first signs of the independence and stubborn fight to do things his way; which he did all his life. He drove the piano teacher crazy, purposely hit the wrong keys and refused to do his two hours of daily practice. After six months the teacher gave up; and so did his mother.
Attempts to get Rolf to pose for studio shots had similar results.
Link to "The Post War Child"
After the war there always were dogs around. When moving to the big house in Schlachtensee Rolf's mother decided to raise German Shepherds. In June 1952 five pups were born, one of them would become dedicated to Rolf. Cingo was a beautiful, large, long haired dog, who was fully trained.
With the Dogs in front of the Mansion in Schlachtensee.
Pictures of Rolf about town before the bombing started. The pictures in the middle were taken in the Austrian Alps, where Rolf's grandmother had taken him to get out of Berlin. The little girl was killed the day after by an errant bomb, prompting their return to Berlin. Rolf has flashes of memories of some of those things, like chasing the little girl through the high grass and wildflowers.
Rolf with his mother on a rare visit to her floor. Mother and Fritz in front of the Mansion right after moving there. In the center a visionary picture of Rolf in his apartment at Christmas, displaying what 50 years later would become his profession of choice in his third career.
Link to "Adolescence"
Rolf had parties at his place all through the business school years.
Link to "The Teen Years"
There was only one major party after he started work and his relationship with Karin developed.
Link to "Adulthood - Karin"
There are hundreds of old family pictures in Rolf's possession. He had never seen them and cannot identify most of the images. He saw them for the first time after his mother's estate was settled. As Rolf is the only surviving member of the the family born in Germany, there is no one to ask.
